Sneetches – A Critical Review

The casual reader might come away from Sneetches
(by Dr. Seuss) thinking it teaches
Their children a lesson about, what, can I say?
Perhaps the role that entrepreneurs and surgeons play?
That in society it is just to exploit
Without trading a service. That just ain’t, um, roight.


Doctor Seuss, if indeed that’s your real name,
Let me tell you, as you lie and spin in your grave,
In your grave by the sea, now you listen to me,
While I tell you, I'll tell you what real Sneetches should be.

Those populist Sneetches, those star-unendowed,
They lacked creativity, when they weren’t allowed
To the frankfurter roasts. Now why couldn’t they boast
Of their own greatest and latest in marshmallow toasts?
Of their social skills, of their friends in the know?
Why did they envy? Why did they lay low?

For a Starless Sneetch party, is what I would say,
Is the place to play bluegrass, at the end of the day.
The Star-Bellied Sneetches, cocktail wieners in hand,
Pinkies raised high, had no such fun plan.

But the Star-Bellied Sneetches, those faux elitists,
Weren’t the ones to call in the Surgeon Cosmetis.
No, the driftless and listless with Stars-Not-On-Thars
Summoned McMonkey McBean in his strangest of cars,
Demanding their equity, their fair-share tattoos,
They cared not for the dollar, nor which dollar was whose.

Far from the shyster, as Seuss paints McBean,
He provided a service, one in great need.
Or so it was seen by the faux populists,
Those who fancied stars as an elitist test.

Seuss also maintained that money was wrong,
That Sneetches got saintly once it was gone.
To Seuss I would ask, were he still here,
Why did you write? For money, I fear?